Thursday, March 25, 2010

twilight

Hello little quiet part of the world. You haven't seen much sleep and neither have I.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

train

I sat flush faced waiting for the Iowa-bound Amtrak, calming my mother's nerves while maintaining my own. Like a switch-flip I'm waiting on the train and a familiar face is approaching- her seat is next to mine. Why are the first two things that come to my head- "woah" and "wtf"? What would I have thought thirty years ago? Most of my time lately has been spent cooking or packing or in transit. Do you think you can express yourself through flavor in the same way you can express yourself through an instrument or through an image on a piece of paper? I am particularly fond of the way cinnamon, red pepper, and mustard seed go together with paneer cheese, lentils and spinach. They were fast friends. I'm more and more aware that it's impossible to be in anything but transit.

Some things I know include (*except this):
(1) The lyrics to 'The Pretender', Jackson Browne-
I'm gonna rid myself of love
in the shade of the freeway.
Gonna pack my lunch in the morning
and go to work each day.
And when the evening rolls around
I go on home and lay my body down.
And when the morning light comes streaming in
I'll get up and do it again.
Amen-
Say it again-
Amen.
I want to know what became of the changes
we waited for love to bring.
Were they only the fitful dreams of some greater awakening?
I've been aware of the time going by.
They say in the end it's the wink of an eye.
When the morning light comes streaming in
We'll get up and do it again.
Amen.
Caught between the longing for love and the struggle for the legal tender.
Where the sirens sing and the church bells ring
And the junk man pounds his fender.
While the veterans dream of the fight,
Fast asleep at the traffic light.
And the children solemnly wait for the ice cream vendor.
Out into the cool of the evening strolls the pretender.
He knows all his hopes and dreams begin and end there.
(All the lovers as they run through the night)
(Leaving nothing but to choose off and fight)
(And tear out the world with all their might)
While the ships there in their dreams sail out of sight.
I'm going to find myself a girl who can show me what laughter means.
And we'll fill in the missing colors in each other's paint-by-number dreams.
And then we'll put our dark glasses on-
And we'll make love until our strength is gone-
And when the morning comes streaming in
We'll get up and do it again.
Get it up again.
I'm going to be a happy idiot and struggle for the legal tender.
Where the (*not this word) taking and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender.
And believe in whatever may lie in those things that money can buy-
Where true love could have been a contender.
Are you there? Say a prayer for the pretender-
Who started young and strong only to surrender.
Say a prayer for the pretender.
Are you there for the pretender?
Say a prayer for the pretender.
Are you there for the pretender?

(2) Bonsoir, je suis Whitney. Je suis enchantée de vous voir.

(3) Simple algebra.

(4) a. That octupuses and octopi are both gramatically correct. b. That octopuses are the only cephalopod to be conclusively known to use tools.

(5) On A Clear Day You Can See Forever.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

i wonder how many among us have been to the chicago public library on the top floor, american girl place, and temple in 12 hours?
i'm in need of guidance, or some such thing, because the noises in my head are many and loud and possibilities are endless. instead of feeling boundless, i need to find my limits. i think my search for guidance, though, is sending me on a tour of chicagoland temples which may further extend my bounds rather than create them.
temple no. 1 feels churchy and kind of cold. modern brick and flipping through pages to find hymns feels like my monotonous childhood experience with church. i don't like pointed questions about guilt when mentioning how i feel guilty when asking others to donate their money.
what i dooo like is singing in another language off-key, dharma students whispering to their dad when they know an answer before saying it aloud, bird and sun references, and the gong.
also, post-service tea time.