i wonder how many among us have been to the chicago public library on the top floor, american girl place, and temple in 12 hours?
i'm in need of guidance, or some such thing, because the noises in my head are many and loud and possibilities are endless. instead of feeling boundless, i need to find my limits. i think my search for guidance, though, is sending me on a tour of chicagoland temples which may further extend my bounds rather than create them.
temple no. 1 feels churchy and kind of cold. modern brick and flipping through pages to find hymns feels like my monotonous childhood experience with church. i don't like pointed questions about guilt when mentioning how i feel guilty when asking others to donate their money.
what i dooo like is singing in another language off-key, dharma students whispering to their dad when they know an answer before saying it aloud, bird and sun references, and the gong.
also, post-service tea time.

someone touched my shoulder at sunset as if they were a friend, and when i turned around to see who they were i did not know them. i said, "oh..k", and they said absolutely nothing but stood there and followed for approximately one block before they decided to turn around. the surreality added to a completely uncertain shift in perspective. like paranoia in being followed. then some awesome dudes harassed mike and i on a bench waiting for a restaurant to open. then screamy people were screamy and screamier. i haven't felt so paranoid en mi ambiente desde argentina. i am not digging you, iowa city.

humans are the oddest of all. more odd than a sardine in a can or whitewash. brains may be more vapid than circuit city during its final days in business. there is a photo of mao on the wall that may be speaking to me. it is surprisingly comfortable. he doesn't say much.
i may very well be slipping through a mental crack when i go to sleep. each time i wake up remembering quite everything. the quite is very important, quite everything. they are being stored as memories, and it is contributing to this new grasp of reality that may just be a tuft of hair leading me but not to rapunzel. new york is inconceivable at this point. april is inconceivable. but mostly it is mao as incomprehensible as ever.

thoughts on the animal kingdom or some such

Wolves are very important. I am thinking on the man in Valparaiso with a crew of three wolf-like canines. I bet he is very important too.
Sometimes when you meet a balding dog, you never forget him. This is also very important. While wolves are tough, some dogs lead rough lives and should not be left to the dust!
I am going to war with the cat across the street who is really out of line and harassing my cat. It is very important that I employ an effective strategy on the offense and defense end. I may find statues of wolves and audio of horrible growling and thrashing sounds to insert on front porch. He must be taught a lesson.

I hope to bring the prarie to the city one day. Harvesting vegetables is extremely satisfying but not as much as weeding. I like to think of weeding as an act of heroism! I like to think of harvesting as an act of piracy with loot of VEGETABLES!
I have learned that some families on farms call their pigs ham, cattle hamburger, and the like so that their kids can understand them as something other than a pet. There is a cow you should meet whose best friend is a runaway show pig. I have seen cats play dead when getting roughed up by brutish dogs. I have seen larvae slither in the sun and taken a liking to fire ants! Wild roots, wilder ness.
As little bits of Iowa return to their prarie roots: http://www.inhf.org/prairiemgmt.htm
Free posters with prarie restoration information available through the Iowa City Department of Agriculture (in case I am not the only interested party).

The flu can come at the most encouraging times. Last night, I found myself running in a panic with a stuffy nose and stuffed brain, delusional and sweating. Like most recent Thursdays, I'd come from playing hide-and-seek, freeze-tag across the river with a will to cheat, avoiding the dreaded task of "it." People are much more delusional after an hour in the sun of hiding and bolting, to say the least. Of course, I can find time to check out 30 early beginner books at the library/choose 3 and write an extremely detailed reasoning as to why you chose them including a lesson plan, get my wallet and come back for a long-awaited meeting, come home, write an outline for my thesis, write an outline for my article, write a response to linguistic theory, watch Mary Poppins, and be in bed by 10.
It also occurs to me that white blood cells are worth their weight in gold, which is extremely valuable these days. If that statement were monetarily true, I could repay all of my student loans. Those of you who can handle having 8 oz + of plasma drawn from you twice weekly must be higher up on the evolutionary ladder than I.
I have replaced a music library with the sounds erratic humming, cricket sounds, and high-pitched mews; while young adult novels and nice people at Thai Flavors who will special-make drunken fried rice and lemongrass soup have filled the gap.

Words come easier when the only light around you is your computer screen and the only sound is the fan and the keys being pressed. I am in a place called New Orleans, and it is here I realize I am in the middle of a mobile identity. I am no longer Whitney in Iowa City except for when I'm in Iowa City, and it becomes simpler to understand certain things by Dr. Seuss.
If I had a map or a car or a practical knowledge of riding bikes I would be actively mobile, but perhaps it is best I can now realize I have time to work on the homework of Whitney as a student.